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Truly Yours, Jen

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The World Will Never Quite Be the Same

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To My Friend Who Would Rather Not Do Christmas This Holiday Season

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Hi there! I’m Jen, and I am so glad you are here. I write about faith, family, parenting, friendship, forgiveness, and my own struggles and joys in life (with a few recipes and decorating tips thrown in for fun). I hope my writing is like reading a letter from a friend, and that it brings you encouragement. Life is messy. We are all a little messy. Thankfully, God loves us through it all. Thank you for being here!
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I’ve never been on a mission trip. I remember,

I’ve never been on a mission trip.

I remember, in my early 20s, after I rededicated my life to Christ and I was on fire and excited to participate in all the things, I could envision all of the mission trips I would be on. The places I would travel. The people I would meet. The songs we would sing. The meals we would share. The way I would share the love of Christ with everyone I encountered.

They would be changed. I would come back changed.

It felt like a part of my Christian initiation. If I loved Jesus, I must get on a plane and go. A week here. A week there.

But the weeks stretched into months and the months into years and the next thing I knew I was married and our littles were coming into the world. One after the other.

And my nights were spent awake at night nursing infants while their tiny hands wrapped tightly around my finger. My days were spent picking Cheerios up off the floor and changing diapers and driving to preschool and making dinners and visiting with neighbors. And the need to go on a mission trip faded into the background.

My life became my ministry.

Instead of needing to go, I began to see the beauty and the power in staying. And being present. And investing in what was right before my eyes.

My husband.
My children.
My neighbors.
My extended family.
My church family.
My friends.

My ministry became the ministry of sippy cups and story time.
It became the ministry of meals dropped off on friend’s porches and watching babies so new moms could rest.
It became the ministry of small group gathered in our living room.
It became the ministry of family dinners and bedtime prayers.
It became the ministry of inviting middle schoolers and high schoolers to gather around our table for study and talk and laughter and tears and so many Oreos.
It became the ministry of homemade cookies after a long day of school.
It became the ministry of having friends for dinner and drinking wine and sharing meals and talking about all the things late into the night.

It became the ministry of simply being.
It became the ministry of presence.

I’ve never been on a mission trip.

(Continued in comments)

Last night, we hosted a cat Birthday party. Yep,

Last night, we hosted a cat Birthday party.

Yep, you heard me right. A cat Birthday party.

Because over the past year, during a time when the kids were learning from home and our lives were a little topsy turvy, these cats brought us a tremendous amount of joy.

While the kids would read their books and do their schoolwork, the cats would wander from room to room. They would snuggle up close, on laptops and in the laps of the kids, and as they curled up and stretched out, my children would eagerly stroke their fluffy, black fur.

Every day, they made a difficult situation better.

Over the past month, the kids would regularly ask me if I knew what was coming up.

Of course I did.
The cats were about to turn one.

And with every ask, it became more apparent to me that we needed to celebrate this milestone. Because why not take every opportunity we can to celebrate the good things in life? And these cats have definitely been good things.

So that’s what we did. We decorated the house and ate the cake before the pizza, because zero rules apply at a cat Birthday party. We played games and sang karaoke loudly. And at the end of the night, we sang to the cats while they ate their food out of fancy glass bowls on the floor.

It may seem a bit over the top. And I’m totally okay with that.

Last night was a night filled with smiles and laughter and silliness and joy.
It was a night spent celebrating the joy these little, fluffy fur babies have brought to our lives.
It was a night of gratitude and family and friends and goldfish crackers labeled “cat food” and sparkly cat ear headbands and cake with multicolored sprinkles.

It was a night to celebrate these gifts that arrived during an unexpected time in our lives. A time when we didn't even realize how badly we needed them, or what they would provide.

Some may say having a cat Birthday party sounds crazy. And I say why not take every opportunity we can to celebrate the things we love, and the people we love, and the animals we love? And to eat cake. Because we only live once. And cats and cake are amazing.

#happybirthdaykitty #letscelebrate #findjoy #itsmycatsbirthday #happybirthday #persiancat

After a year and a half of time off most things, I

After a year and a half of time off most things, I have a found a new appreciation for watching my children do the things they love. 💗

#gratefulheart #pandemiclife #anewappreciation

Some days require lots of cookies 💗

Some days require lots of cookies 💗

Make me a vessel 💗 #loveothers #lovewell #love

Make me a vessel 💗

#loveothers #lovewell #love

Never forget 💗 (From @parentingteensandtweens

Never forget 💗

(From @parentingteensandtweens )

Sometimes; the very best way to start the day is o

Sometimes; the very best way to start the day is on the floor with kitty snuggles. 💗😻

#theadventuresofzillyandbeans #persiankitty #fluffy #thisismyhappyplace

Neither should we. 💗 #loveyourneighbor #love #

Neither should we. 💗

#loveyourneighbor #love #faith

One of the biggest fights we’ve had happened jus

One of the biggest fights we’ve had happened just a few short months after we were married.

We had traveled to see family over the weekend and had just returned home on a Sunday evening. We walked inside, both holding as much as our arms would carry.

The bags were put in our room and my husband proceeded to walk into the living room, turn on the tv and sit down.

Wait.
What?
What was he doing?
What about the rest of the stuff in the car?
What about work tomorrow?
We need to unpack. This is priority number one.

Right?

For me, yes.
For him, no.

And in that moment a battle ensued.
I went on and on about why he should be doing what I wanted him to do and he went on and on about why he should be doing what he wanted to do.
Our words flew over and around each other, landing on ears unwilling to listen. We were both so sure we were right. We both knew the other was wrong.

And we just had to get our points across.

It was imperative the other didn’t necessarily understand where we were coming from, but really just changed their behavior.

This is the only fight I remember in the history of our relationship that ended with him leaving the house.

He just left.
He couldn’t take any more of the badgering and out the door and into the car he went to drive and to think.
And I was left alone to cry.

This was not the wedded bliss I imagined.
What was happening here?

It didn’t take long for us both to recognize all of the unspoken things we brought into our marriage. The ways we grew up. Our living habits we never thought to communicate when we weren’t living together. The things we brought into the marriage that we didn’t even know we were carrying. The expectations we had that we didn’t even know we had.

Like you always unload the car completely and unpack immediately after returning from a trip.
Like watching your team play takes precedence and whatever needs done can be done later.

Fast forward to today and unpacking rarely happens the night we return from a trip.
And it’s definitely possible to miss games, and happens all of the time.

(Continued in comments)

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