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Truly Yours, Jen

grief

To My Friend Who Would Rather Not Do Christmas This Holiday Season

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Hi there! I’m Jen, and I am so glad you are here. I write about faith, family, parenting, friendship, forgiveness, and my own struggles and joys in life (with a few recipes and decorating tips thrown in for fun). I hope my writing is like reading a letter from a friend, and that it brings you encouragement. Life is messy. We are all a little messy. Thankfully, God loves us through it all. Thank you for being here!
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So grateful for these years 💗

So grateful for these years 💗

We clench our fists and we open our hands. We gra

We clench our fists and we open our hands.
We grasp.
And we release.

We want to hold on to time.
To stay in the moment.
To be present.

All the while, distractions pull at us.
Demand our attention.

The ding of the notification.
The calendar with its blocks of time already reserved for this and that.
The mountain of laundry.
The list of to-dos.
The meal prep.
The appointments that need made.

We rush and we run and we hurry and all the while our souls cry - Rest. Be still. Pause. Breathe.

We search for an elusive balance.
We want time to slow down. To pause.

Why is it all going so fast?

How do we soak up this moment?
How do we hold on to what is fleeting?
How do we savor each drop of goodness laid out before us?

There are words that speak life to the soul.

Bread.
Gather.
Fellowship.
Table.
Presence.

These words speak to me.

And then I see the connection between these words.

Communion.

He broke the bread and shared the cup and gathered at the table - even with the one who would betray Him. They were in His Holy Presence.

His sacrifice.

Remember.

Rest.

Warm bread.
Rich red wine.
The table.
Communion.
Fellowship.

His birth.
His death.

Return.

I am grasping. Longing for more. Trying to absorb the moments and make the time count.

But when I return to the Holy and the Sacred and the Why.
It is there where I find peace.
It is there where time slows down.

It is there where the distractions fade and the noise quiets and my soul returns to all that is good and the things that didn’t make sense seem a little more clear.

My tension fades.
My hands open, palms extend up to receive.

I don’t need to do so much.

I can rest.
I can return.
And remember.
The gift of being.

Present.
In His Presence.

To my friend who would rather not do Christmas thi

To my friend who would rather not do Christmas this holiday season,

I want you to know I see you. I may not know what it’s like to walk in your shoes. I can’t understand the grief you are feeling right now. But my heart hurts for you.

Are the lights, the sounds and the smells all painful reminders of what is missing? Do they take you to place in your mind where you wish you could go? Instead of seeing what is before you, do you see what is no longer?

To my friend who has lost her spouse. To my friend whose marriage is crumbling. To my friend who is now divorced. To my friend whose children are all grown and gone from the home. To my friend who is spending this Christmas in the hospital, at the bedside of a loved one. To my friend who has lost her mother. Her father. Her sister. Her brother. Her child.

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling this holiday season.

(Link to complete article in bio)

Last night, we went on a date. We talked. About s

Last night, we went on a date.
We talked. About serious stuff. And silly stuff.
We laughed.
We spent intentional time together
Just the two of us.

No distractions.
No demands.
No running from here to there.

We connected in a way we needed to.
Because life is busy and hectic and sometimes it’s easy to stop talking about the things that really matter.

Sometomes, it’s easy to make everything else a priority.

But this time together is so important.
To look each other in the eyes and say, “How are you? How can I support you? How can I love you better? What do you need in this busy season?”
To remove ourselves from the demands of our home and to sit across from each other and look into each other’s eyes and listen. To really listen.

Because one day, when the kids are grown - they will go and we will remain
Together.

Me and my best friend.
Just the two of us

These are a few of my favorite things 💗

These are a few of my favorite things 💗

One of my favorite books is One Thousand Gifts by

One of my favorite books is One Thousand Gifts by @annvoskamp . I am actually in the process of rereading it now. As her words wash over me and seep into my heart, I am reminded of the importance and necessity and joy-giving practice of eucharisteo. Thanksgiving.

I decided earlier this week, if I love this book so much and if the words have had such an impact on me - then I probably should put into practice the thing I am reading.

So I started a gratitude journal. I am writing down one thousand gifts of my own.

And it is true - when we give thanks, our perspective changes. We begin to look for, and to see, the gifts residing in the simple things we can so often overlook in the busyness of the day.

So many gifts.
Waiting to be seen.
Waiting to be received.

water with lemon
heated blankets
warm, fuzzy socks
forgiveness long overdue
couch snuggles
creamy mashed potatoes
gathering with loved ones
the first sip of hot coffee early in the morning
the sound of fire crackling in the fireplace

the anticipation of the day ahead

So many gifts. Every day.

Today, we are reminded to pause and to give thanks. We reach out to loved ones and declare our words of gratitude. We hug family members and friends. We make a point to let people know what they mean to us.

We gather.
We share a meal.
We encourage rest.
We pause.
We give thanks.

Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving.

Since I started my journal, I look forward to writing in it every day. I get excited about the gifts I see. As my pen hits the paper, I can feel my heart changing.

Something beautiful happens when we give thanks.
Something changes within us.
As we are present in the moment.
Present with our God.
Present with our loved ones.
Present with our gifts.

Friends, I pray the gifts of this day are apparent. I pray your bellies and your hearts are filled with all good things.

Friends, I give thanks for you today.

Happy Thanksgiving.
May you and yours be blessed.

#onethousandgifts #givethanks #thanksgiving

Snuggles. Silly faces. Nothing to do and nowhere t

Snuggles. Silly faces. Nothing to do and nowhere to be. A week off from all the things.

I will never grow tired of this.
Ever.

And I will forever be grateful for these days. 💗

Today, the kids have off school. And it feels lik

Today, the kids have off school.
And it feels like a gift.
A reminder of God’s provision and His perfect timing.

This morning, I awoke to an overcast day. The perfect day for sleeping in.

I was in and out of slumber for awhile. My mind going back and forth between dream state and thoughts of rising. At some point, I decided it was time and my feet moved from under downy comforter to meet the coolness of the hardwoods. As I walked to the kitchen to grab the cup of coffee from the counter that my husband had poured for me, I was aware of the cold and the quiet and the peace that is unique to the time of day when everyone is sleeping soundly, but you. Tiptoeing quietly from room to room, from space to space, hoping you can hold on to the silence for just a bit longer.

With coffee in hand, I went to the kitchen island.
And I met with the Lord.
I gave Him some things I’ve been holding on to.
And I realized it had been a while since I had talked to HIm this way. Or maybe at all.

On this Tuesday morning in November, I was met with His kindness and His tenderness and His mercy and was reminded once again that He can take it all. My hurt. My pain. My grief. My anger. My petitions.

And my praises.

God knows.
No matter what happens in life that feels shocking, it is no shock to God.
And neither is our response.

So give Him your anger. Give Him your tears. Give Him your frustrations. Give Him your joy. Give Him your fear. Give Him your petitions. Give Him your praises.

Give Him your all.

You don’t have to sugar coat it. It doesn’t have to be pretty. It doesn’t need to be elaborate.

Lord, Your will be done.
Lord, Your will be done.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Lord, Your will be done.

I used to feel bad if I was upset with God. I used to think that showed a lack of faith on my part. That I wasn’t a good enough Christian or that I didn’t love Him like I should. That I wasn’t trusting Him or believing in His goodness.

Now, I know I can trust Him enough to know He is bigger than my feelings. He can handle whatever I throw His way. He is the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End.

The great I AM.

(Continued in comments)

Since Brad died, I haven’t written much. I have

Since Brad died, I haven’t written much.
I haven’t posted a new blog post.
I haven’t done my Top 7 List.
I haven’t submitted any writing to new sites.

I sit down to type and I feel like I’ve lost my words.
My fingers fly over the keys and as quickly as the letters appeared, they are removed with the touch of the delete button.

I want to tell this story.
I want to talk more about his life.
And his death.

But for some reason, I’m stuck.

It’s there, waiting, on the forefront of my mind and the tips of my fingers, but nothing I think to say seems to encompass it all, so instead, I say nothing.

I know I will write on my blog again.
I know I will submit posts again.

But I’m just not there yet.

This past week held a lot.

It held grief and joy. Sorrow and celebration.

Tears at a gravesite and tears at a mother/son dance.

It held a beautiful meal with my best friend who died too young’s son.
It held the news of pregnancy from two people I dearly love.
It held trick-or-treating and family visiting from out of town.
It held hugging friends and family members I hadn’t seen in far too long and realizing that while time had done the thing it does and passed by entirely too quickly - when in the company of loved ones, it’s like no time has passed at all.

This week feels like it held weeks and months and years.

This week held so much.

As some weeks do.

And while there are some things I am not ready to say and some words I can’t yet type and some things that feel to raw to share, I will say this - life is beautiful. Isn’t it? In the pain and the grief and the celebration and the joy. In connecting with friends and family we haven’t seen in years and in remembering loved ones gone before us. In thinking of lives taken to young and new life forming in the mother’s womb.

In life.
In death.
In memory.
In celebration.
In mourning.

God has given us more gifts than we can possibly count. Gifts lying in wait to be opened. Residing in the sacred moments we don’t even know are sacred until they have long gone.

Life is a gift.
A beautiful, precious, sacred gift.
(Continued in comments)

Friends, Yesterday, I flew home from a funeral.

Friends,

Yesterday, I flew home from a funeral.
Today, I am traveling in a car for seven hours to a wedding.
And while I was at the funeral, I found out two people I love very much are having a baby.

Our hearts grieve.
And our hearts rejoice.

We mourn
And we celebrate.

People we love draw their last breaths.
And we cry tears of loss and sadness.

Babies enter this world with deep breaths and vocal cords belting out their greeting to the world.
And we cry tears of relief and joy.

Someone walks down the aisle to greet the one they love while we stand and witness this sacred moment.
And we cheer and celebrate their union.

Yesterday, after I returned home - physically and emotionally depleted, but also grateful for time with loved ones and the memories of the life Brad lived fresh in the forefront of my mind - I unpacked and rushed out the door to my daughter’s high school for the production of Our Town.

A show about love and marriage and babies and life and death and family and living and breathing and dying - and missing it.

It felt so fitting.
I fought back the tears.

As I let the words wash over me.

“Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it -- every, every minute?”

So, today, I breathe.
I let the exhaustion seep into my bones as I stare out the window and move from the place of mourning to the place of celebration.
As I go from graveside to dancing.

And I know with every ounce of my being - that this is life.

It is joy and it is sorrow.
It is living and dying and trying so hard to embrace the moments we are given.
To not let it all pass us by.

To see the beauty in it all.
The good.
The bad.

All of it.
Because if we look hard enough, there is always something to be grateful for - even if it is the smallest thing. It is there.
Somewhere.

Just waiting to be found.

Truly Yours,
Jen 💗

Today, my cousin will be buried in Arlington Natio

Today, my cousin will be buried in Arlington National Cemetery,

Today, we give thanks for his life.
Today, we give thanks for his service.
Today, we give thanks for all the men and women who have died for our country,

Today, my sister and I put our feet in the fountain in honor of the Veterans.

It was beautiful.
And it was hard.

And I know what we are about to experience will be beautiful.
And it will be hard.
So very, very hard.

Today, we mourn.
Today, we remember.
Today, we honor.
Today, we give thanks.

The older my children become, the more clearly I s

The older my children become, the more clearly I see my hopes for their lives.

I hope they don’t become trapped in the cycle of chasing popularity.

I hope they stay true to who they are.

I hope they don’t fall into the lure of peer pressure.

I hope they are people of strong character and virtue.

I hope they are kind. Always kind. To everyone they encounter.

I hope they can clearly see the things that truly matter in life and hold on to those things tightly, while holding loosely to the rest.

I hope they are generous.

I hope they always consider the needs of others.

I hope they are strong in their faith and their beliefs and their convictions.

I hope they don’t fall into the trap of wanting more and striving for success above all else.

I hope they can be content and see the goodness that is all around us.

I hope they can face trials knowing God is with them and that He has gone before them and that nothing is too big for Him.

I hope they know there is always a way out and the pain they are feeling may be extraordinary in the moment, but it will not last forever. Joy will come in the morning.

I hope they always know the value they bring to the table, and never question their worth.

I hope they never doubt for one second, and know with all of their being, how precious and incredible and loved they are - not for anything they have done, or will do, but simply because of who they are.

Recommendations anyone?? 🤣🤣

Recommendations anyone?? 🤣🤣

In whatever you may be facing 💗

In whatever you may be facing 💗

Cave selfies are my new favorite.

Cave selfies are my new favorite.

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