In All the Spaces Between

My faith journey has not been linear. 

It’s been up and down and all around. It’s been mountaintops and valleys. It’s been seeking and learning and growing and stumbling and praising and worshipping. It’s been laying things down and picking them back up again. 

It’s been doubting and questioning and studying. 
It’s been joy and it’s been tears. 
It’s been asking hard questions and knowing sometimes there isn’t an answer. 

It’s been hot and it’s been cold. It’s been the land of plenty and the desert. 

It’s been worshipping in small groups with close friends. 
In cathedrals with stained glass. 
In church basements with potlucks. 
In my living room on my couch. 
In the hospital holding my newborn babies. 
In nature with the wind blowing through the branches above. 
In rooms with loved ones taking their final breaths. 
In the stillness.

And in all the spaces in between. 

It’s hands raised and falling to my knees. 
It’s ritual and tradition and not traditional at all. 
It’s hymns and rock music. 

I have gone through seasons of righteousness when I thought I knew and understood so much, only to end up realizing how little I knew at all. 

I have gotten rid of things I felt were necessary for my faith. 
And have picked some of those things back up realizing they weren’t the hinderances I once believed them to be. 

I have stumbled. 
And I have fallen. 

And through it all, God has remained. 

Steadfast. 
Unwavering. 
Patiently waiting. 
Ever-present. 
Merciful. 
Gracious. 
Kind. 
Loving. 
Loving.
Loving. 

Radical love. 
Love that has no bounds. 

Love that came down to earth in the form of a man. 
Rejected. 
Beaten. 
Sentenced to die a criminal’s death. 

It was His plan. 
For you. 
For me. 
For all of us. 

All are welcome. 
None are excluded. 

I am in awe of the trinity. 
And my heart cries out for Jesus. 
I fall in love with Him. 
Again. 
Again. 
Again. 

And I give thanks that we are all invited into this relationship. 
Into this Holy Trinity. 

God for us. 
God with us. 
God in us. 

All are welcome at the table. 
All. 

And my heart is eternally grateful.