I am tired. Not necessarily need to go to bed right now tired, but I’m not going to lie – that sounds pretty nice, too.
The kind of tired I am talking about is the tired that comes from living in a place of constant low-grade stress for an extended period of time. The stress that comes from living in a pandemic.
That’s the tired I’m talking about.
Do you know the feeling? Can you feel it?
It’s tired of hearing a sniffle and thinking, “Oh no. Is this it?”
It’s tired of wondering if we should get a Covid test the moment anyone exhibits even the slightest sign of illness because the last thing I want is to infect the other people in our home, or outside of our home, unknowingly.
It’s tired of the battle of the masks.
It’s tired of wondering why a health issue is a political issue.
It’s tired of wondering if my children will stay healthy when they head out the door to school.
It’s tired of hearing the anger and the hostility and seeing the division in our communities, our schools, our states, our nation.
It’s tired of seeing the numbers rise and wondering if we are making the right choices.
It’s tired of making the hard choices and then having to deal with our children’s disappointment when we have to tell them “No” once again.
It’s tired of questioning and wondering and needing to make these decisions we never had to make before.
It’s tired of wondering how this will affect our children, and how we help them navigate it all, because if this is hard on us, how much harder is it on them?
It’s tired. Just plain tired.
Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you feel any of this?
If you do, know you are not alone. I am sure there are many of us living with this feeling of low-grade stress and uncertainty lying just below the surface.
We are all dealing with the ramifications of the pandemic on some level, whether we recognize it, or not.
When my stress begins to rise and the anxieties bubble up, I remind myself I am not alone. Not only are others dealing with this all around me, I know God is with me. He has gone before me, and even though I had no idea about this pandemic, or what it would look like last year or this year, or even years from now – He does. And I trust in His goodness.
When I am weak, He is strong.
And when I am tired, I have to ask Him to hold me up.
I am tired, mama. And maybe you are, too. The beginning of this school year has had me in tears. Multiple times. And that’s okay to say. I think we need to be talking about this.
About how we are doing. And how we are dealing. And the stressors we are facing.
Because there are lots right now. And sometimes the tears may fall. And sometimes we may need to close ourselves in our room, lock the door and bury our heads in the pillow to scream and cry.
We are all trying our best right now with our unique situations. We all have our own stories and experiences we bring with us to the table, and that includes with this pandemic.
So let’s be kind.
Let’s support one another.
Let’s give our hurts and our pains and our fears and our anxieties to God.
Knowing He is with us through it all. In our joy. In our struggle.