You can want time for yourself, away from your children, and still be a good mom.
You can tell a friend you can’t hang out, even if there isn’t anything on your calendar, and still be a good friend.
You can fall asleep on the couch every night next to your spouse, even if you vowed this was the night you would stay awake, and still be a good partner.
You can turn off your phone for the day and not return a single message, and still be worthy of your relationships.
You can forget something, because at some point in time we all do, and still be good enough for the task at hand.
You can wear your pajama bottoms every day to the school for drop off (and maybe even pick up), and that doesn’t mean you are a lazy person.
Oftentimes, we are our worst critics.
We pack our calendars full of things because we are afraid of what will happen if we say no. We make commitments we probably shouldn’t make because we don’t want to disappoint people. We base our worth and our value on what we accomplish in a given day, and beat ourselves up mentally if we aren’t living up to some standard we have created for ourselves.
I say all of this from a place of experience.
There have been many times in my life when I’ve been incredibly hard on myself. I beat myself up over things I said, or did. And things I didn’t say, and didn’t do.
I will commit to things I probably shouldn’t. And then beat myself up when I am so tired and overwhelmed that I’m not doing things to the best of my ability.
I am learning, as I grow older, to be less critical of myself. To give myself the grace I long to give others, and to recognize my worth and my value aren’t based on how I look, what I accomplish, or how busy I am.
There is value in slowing down. In finding rest. In setting boundaries. In carefully selecting the things we will commit too. In spending time with our families. In turning off our phones and being present.
Let’s stop being our worst critics.
Instead of seeing all we do wrong, let’s start to rejoice in what we are doing right.
Let’s live lives filled with grace. For others. And for ourselves.
Because ultimately, that’s what we all want on some level. Right? To know we are loved regardless of what we do, or don’t do. To know we can show up in our pajamas, with our mess. To be able to turn off our phones and take time to rest and take moments for ourselves and not feel guilty for it.
So let’s talk to ourselves the way we would talk to a friend.
Because your worth isn’t tied to what you do, or don’t do.