Over the past months, there have been many times when I’ve looked out the window, or have seen images on the news, and have thought, Is this really our reality right now?
Sometimes it feels more like watching a movie than reality.
It all feels so bizarre.
And just when it feels like it can’t get any crazier, it does.
On Jan 6, we looked at our television screens, and saw a large group of people marching toward the Capitol Building.
I was working in my kitchen, had the television on, and would periodically look up from what I was doing to see the senators speak. And as the images of people marching closer and closer to the building, and up the stairs, were flashing before me, my mind never fully processed what I was seeing.
What’s happening? Why are they walking into the building? Are they letting them in? There are a lot of them. Where are the police? What’s going on?
And again, it felt more like I was watching a movie than reality.
Is this really our country right now?
As I watched, the pit in my stomach began to grow. I didn’t want to watch. I could feel my anxiety rising, but I couldn’t turn away. It felt reminiscent of other tragic moments I have watched behind the screen as they unfolded, like Columbine and September 11.
And my thoughts turned to the Black Lives Matter rallies, and I thought if there was ever a picture of white privilege – here it is.
And the pit in my stomach began to grow again.
And my thoughts turned to the pandemic, as I watched all of the people standing so close together without masks, I began to think of the new strain of the virus that is more easily transmissible.
And the pit in my stomach began to grow again.
And my thoughts turned to the political tensions in our country. The divisiveness. The anger. The hatred.
And the pit in my stomach began to grow again.
Friends, did any of you feel that pit?
I know I did. As I watched the events unfold before me, it felt like the culmination of so many of the past months events coming to a head. All of the marches throughout the year. The pandemic. Our tense political climate. The discord between liberals and conservatives, Republicans and Democrats. The systemic racism that exists in our country. All of it.
And for a moment, it felt so heavy. So. Heavy.
But friends, in the midst of it all, I could feel a gentle whisper. A soft nudge. A reminder to look up. A reminder that this is not our home. A reminder that in this world we will have trouble, but we can take heart, because we have faith in the One who has overcome the world.
Friends, our lives are like a blink of an eye. This is not our end destination. We will have pandemics, violence, discord, and tension. It is all part of living in a fallen world.
But that isn’t where our hope lies. So I will put my hope in God above. And when that pit begins to grow, I will pray. And I will give it to Him. And I will ask Him to heal my heart, and heal relationships, and heal our nation as only He is able.
Because He is God. And He is up to something.
And while this all comes as one shock to us after another, and while sometimes it seems like too much to bare – friends, nothing, absolutely nothing, has shocked God. He sits on the throne. And He is good. And He is faithful. And He is just.
And none of this surprises Him.
He has known these events would unfold before the beginning of time. And when I think of that, the pit begins to dissipate and hope begins to grow.
Friends, there has been a lot that has happened over the past months. There have been moments when it feels like things cannot get any crazier, and they do.
So I will cling to God. And I will look up. And I will trust. And I will hope. And I will put my faith in the One who works all things out for His good and His glory.
And there, I will find peace in the storm.
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