Today I Will Recognize the Gift and Acknowledge the Hardship

Sometimes I feel tired. And sometimes I feel weary.

Maybe it’s the feeling of being pulled in so many directions. Maybe it’s the feeling of being needed so often throughout the day. Maybe it’s never really being alone. Maybe it’s the wondering and the doubting.

Are the kids doing okay? Am I helping them enough with school? Will there be lasting impacts from this time? Will it be positive? How will they remember this?

What can I do to help?

And as I search for ways to help throughout the day, sometimes I long for a break. For just a moment to myself without someone needing me.

The word “Mom” is one of my most favorite words to hear, but sometimes when I hear it repeatedly, and when the words that follow are requests – I feel a weariness begin to set in. And I feel bad for even typing those words. Because I know how fortunate I am. I know what a gift and a blessing it is, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t tiring sometimes.

Everyone would agree, having a newborn is an incredible gift. But oh man, is it ever tiring.

And that’s how I feel at times during this season of online learning with my children.

It’s been so good in so many ways, but oh man, can it been tiring.

And I think it’s okay to admit that. It’s good to admit that. I think we need to be able to see the gifts, but also be able to recognize the struggle.

There is a part of me that longs for normalcy for my kids. For them to be able to return to life as it was months ago. And there is another part of me that can so clearly see the goodness that has come from this unexpected pause from life as we know it.

That’s how it is so often with life.

We can see the good. And feel the pain. We can recognize the gift. And acknowledge the hardship.

They are not mutually exclusive.

The struggle and the joy are so beautifully woven together throughout the fabric of our lives.

I pray for God to continue to give us all strength during this unique time. I pray if you are feeling tired and weary, that you find space to rest. Whether your children are learning online, or at home, or maybe a combination of both – I pray that you are not only able to survive this time, but also find ways to thrive.

I pray you are able to see the good amidst the struggle. I pray that peace like a river will flood your soul. And if today you are feeling weary, I pray tomorrow you will wake up renewed, restored, and ready to face whatever your day may hold.