Mom-guilt. It’s a thing. I’m guessing dad-guilt is probably a thing, too.
It’s a nagging, awful thing that can take over way too much mental space in a parent’s head if left unchecked.
I don’t play enough. The kids are on devices too much. The food I cook isn’t healthy enough. My home isn’t organized enough. My kids aren’t reading enough. I’m working too much. I’m not bringing in enough money. I’m not bringing in any money. My home isn’t clean enough. I yelled too much today. The kids haven’t been outside enough. I’m on my phone too much. I’m not paying enough attention to my husband. I’m not paying enough attention to my kids. I’m not paying enough attention to my friends. I’m not paying enough attention to anyone. I’m not doing anything well. I’m doing a lot of half somethings. I’m not working out enough. I’m working out too much. I’m not teaching them enough.
Does my husband know I love him? Do my kids know I love them? My friends? My family?
Did I devote too much time today to playing? What about the house?
Did I spend too much time today cleaning? What about the kids?
Did I balance my work/home schedule today?
How do I do it all? What is the balance?
It can be exhausting.
I had the privilege of talking to a friend of mine, Amber Sandberg, recently on her podcast The Mom Inspired Show. Because this was recorded at the end of the school year, when all things were crazy and wonderful, it was decided to do a three-part series with short segments instead of one full episode. We didn’t want to add more mom-guilt and hoped these short little nuggets would give parents something they may be able to relate to, without taking up too much of their time.
I wanted to share these episodes with you today.
I am in no way, shape, or form an expert on mom-guilt, but I do have experience with it. It is something I struggled with a lot when my children were little and something I am learning how to pay attention to and silence when necessary.
When I have these kinds of thoughts, I ask myself:
Is this conviction? Or is it guilt?
Conviction inspires thought, reflection and change. It is usually more gentle and kind. Guilt is something different. It is nagging, self-deflating and usually leads me down a rabbit-hole that can end up in a shameful space if I’m not careful.
I hope you enjoy these episodes. If you can relate to any of this, know you aren’t alone in your struggles. I want to encourage you today and remind you that you don’t have to be everything to everyone. You will have some days when you are rocking your SuperParent Cape and others when you are just surviving. Embrace both. Be gentle with yourself. And be sure to give yourself grace. Lots and lots of grace.
Click on the link to listen: Mom-Guilt Series: How Do You Find Your Self Worth?
Click on the link to listen: Mom Guilt Series: Are You a Mom Who Plays?
Click on the link to listen: Mom-Guilt Series: Making Time For Yourself!
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I would love to here what you think. Please feel free to comment below.